Whether you’re going on a first date or you’ve been married for years, you’re reading this story because you’re tired of the dinner and drink routine. It’s a popular date option for a reason – it’s not controversial (usually), there are countless options, and it’s a great way to connect with one another. But it’s also… done. What if you try to reduce your alcohol consumption?
So you’re ready to mix it all up and try something different, but then comes the realization that you can’t even think of what else to do. Sure, there will be movies, but is there anything else?
“You can play mini-golf, go on a taco tour, picnic in a park, or visit a coffee shop with live music,” says Logan Ury, director of relationship science at dating app Hinge. “Skip the cocktails and focus on date ideas that involve play and connection.”
If you’re cutting down on your drinking or not drinking at all and you’ve only recently been dating, Ury says it helps to be upfront about your preferences and let the other person know. what you feel comfortable with.
“If you don’t drink, do you mind if your date does?” she said. “They may not know how to navigate the conversation, so lead the way by sharing in a vulnerable way and making them feel safe by asking questions.”
Ahead, Ury shares 9 date ideas that don’t require you to drink.
Laugh at a comedy show
“Laughter is the perfect substance-free way to relax. Laughing releases oxytocin — the same bonding hormone released during breastfeeding — and makes us trust the other person more. (What if that’s the oxytocin you’re looking for, laughing is a more socially appropriate activity on a first date than breastfeeding.)”
“One of the best ways to connect is to create a sense of play. And if you can pull off that Bradley Cooper/Lady Gaga duo, what can’t you do?
Visit a bookstore
“Go to a bookstore and choose a book that the other person can read. It’s a chance to share who you are and what matters to you.
Go through an art Gallery
“If you tend to be nervous on a first date, this date will take the pain away from awkward silences. If you can’t think of anything to say, admire the art and take a moment.
Watch a play or concert
“Support the arts! Plus, you’ll have plenty to discuss after the show. It’s a great way to create a conversation.
Share a Smorgasbord
“In other words, plan a picnic, even if it’s indoors. Each of you brings a few of your favorite things. It’s a chance to be thoughtful and share stories about yourself.
Draw each other
“Head to a local park or gazebo with some art materials and draw what you see. Bonus points if you draw a portrait of each other. It’s a chance to play together, in a seductive way.
Take an archery lesson
“Or go throwing axes. Both are great ways to see if someone has a growth mindset. Also, we tend to like someone more when our adrenaline is on the rise.
Visit a farmer’s market
“Enjoy the local flavors, then cook something up with the finds from your farmer’s market. Whether you’re a gourmet chef or the king of the microwave, it’s a fun way to collaborate to do something together. »